Updated: Feb 23, 2021
You hear these three words thrown casually on the interweb all the time: Work Life Balance. "Yeah but nobody really does that" says my client. Uhhhhh I'd like to disagree. Ever since my fiancé Roger and I announced that we booked our wedding venue a few weeks ago, I've been getting a flood of messages from Instagram asking me how we are able to have a thriving relationship and business(s). Whyyyy thank you. (Lightly flips my hair) Ok, but seriously, let me hand out a few truth bombs to you before I get into the actual steps and how to's....
Truth bomb #1: My relationship with my fiancé wasn't always this smooth-sailing. In fact, if you were to ask anybody during our first year of dating, they would have never guessed we lasted. We were the couple that everyone made big bets on, that we wouldn't last; nonetheless get married.
Truth bomb #2: We fought like it was no one's business, we brought out the worst in each other, and just like when the moon and the sun don't honor each other's roles, we were like the Yin and Yang that constantly clashed. Think Jim and Dwight from the Office but 10X worse.
Truth bomb #3: As much as we were wildly attracted to each other in the beginning, we annoyed the heck out of each other. It annoyed me that he had to take breaks during our arguments and it annoyed him that I had to talk everything out. It still annoys me that he's a multitasker and I'm sure it still annoys him that I'm a know it all.
So wtheck happened!?! How did we end up having this thriving relationship AND thriving business(s) together? Side note- my fiancé and I both own our own businesses. Magic.
Just kidding. The truth is that it took a lot of work on both our parts. I know that's not the answer you were looking for, but I'm a strong believer that what makes our relationship work is that as much as we are polar opposites, what is the SAME about us is that we have the SAME CORE VALUES. Sure.... I'm not a sports fan by any means, and he could care less about the design of our home but I believe that every healthy relationship out there, must have the same fundamental core values. Meaning that we need to believe in the same things. That's the same with business. What are your business core values? I mean, if you don't know your core values in your life and/or business..... I mean what!? >>> Please download my Money by Design Essentials where I walk you through an exercise to uncover your core values (correctly) Here's the part of the blog where I walk you through step-by-step how to achieve a thriving relationship AND still crush it at work and/or business:
Step #1: Find out each other's energetic blueprint. (aka strengths, personality, design)
This was a complete game changer for us. I would say, just this alone gave us the foundations of a healthy relationship. I'll give you a few examples: In the human design system, I'm a Projector and my fiancé is a Manifesting Generator. Knowing this allowed us to truly understand each other. He finally understood why it was so important for me to guide and self-project all of my needs and wants. I finally understood his importance of him leaning into his fascinating ability to multi-task with ease. Knowing this also taught us to sleep separately certain days of the week, which allowed me as a Projector to be in my own energy. I mean the list goes on. Next, we understood that my love language was Gifts and his was Words of Affirmation so he stepped up his game when it came to giving me gifts and well, I did the same when it came to complimenting him (which was so strange for me... I mean, I just didn't do that growing up! I didn't even know what the word affirmation meant until my late 20's.) Embarrassing I know. And finally because I've been reading Chinese astrology (aka Bazi and/or 4 Pillars) for over 15 years, I was able to pinpoint that his Wood Tiger is incredibly beneficial to my Fire Horse (In the 5 Element Cycle, wood feeds fire) and instead of feeling that I always need to be independent, I can lean on him to do the heavy lifting. Plus he's a Mani-Gen and I'll respect that he has all the energy in the world and then some. Case in point: Understand yourself first, then your partner, and by having a complete understanding of each other, maybe you could accept each other instead of trying to change the other person. Accept, don't change. My mama once taught me that you can never change another person, but you can always change yourself. Thanks ma!
If this is all confusing for you, please book a reading with me by CLICKING HERE.
Step #2: Keep The Spark In The Relationship Going By Planning Dates/Trips Each Month
So I think this part is really important especially if you've been with your boo for a while. Roger and I are going on five years and let's face it, if we don't continue to work at it, it can get stale. Like old bread stale. Here's how we spice it up (aside from bedroom stuff)
So we actually plan a getaway trip every single month. Which means in a span of a year, we will have gone on 12 trips together. And because COVID prevented us from traveling too much last and this year, we decided to explore different parts of Arizona each month as a way to get to know the new state that we now reside in. For instance, January 2021 we were in Sedona for a few days to ring in the New Year. We are now in February and this weekend we will be heading to Tonto for a few days to do some camping in the great outdoors.
If you have kids... I don't know find a sitter? Or bring them with you?! Please don't give a lame excuse as to why you can't do something. That's just disempowering yourself. We all have choices and you can get creative when you come across a road block. This is Coach Kristen coming at you.
For instance; we brought our dog Manny white river rafting, horse back riding, and he even watched both his parents puke while we were in an Ayahuasca retreat. We are literally going to be the type of parents that will piggyback our kids through the Himalayans... Babe, you agree with this right!?
Step #3: Have a Relationship Recap Each Week
So it's funny because I didn't know that this wasn't even a thing until I talked about what relationship recaps actually were, in my interview with Dr Sharalyn Payne in her latest summit Millionaries and Married.
Basically, my fiancé and I talk about our relationship every Sunday at 3pm. The good, the bad and the ugly, we lay it all out. It's scheduled in our calendars unless one of us has something to do and we would reschedule it but every week on Sunday we ask each other these questions: What went well in our relationship this week? What do we still need to improve on? What's our "relationship goal" for this upcoming week? Having these relationship recaps really, and I mean REALLY helps us talk about things in an adult way. You know when you are fighting with your partner and they say nasty things in that moment? Well, having these recaps each week, gives us the ample amount of time to be adults and talk in an adult manner that is both effective and loving. Get on the relationship recap train! You wont regret it. Watch your relationship reach new heights. Step #4: Take A Course Together aka Personally Grow Together So, we actually started doing this in the beginning of last year and I'd say, this was one of the most fun, exciting, and rewarding things we could have done together as a couple... and that is, take an online course together. In the past during our lunch breaks, we would listen to a module, do the assignment and get back to work. Now because we are also planning our wedding, we have switched it to evenings (aka dinner time). That also means we are now sacrificing TV time (90 Day Fiancé you'll be greatly missed) to working on course material. What courses do we take you might ask? Right now, we are both taking a money mindset course by Chris Harder and in the past we did Sean Cannell's Youtube course. So really it can be anything! As long as you just pace yourselves. Again, it doesn't have to be long. We literally are able to fit it into our lunch schedules. So there is no excuse! And the great part is that you get to do it with your partner! It's honestly a win-win situation.
In fact, if you are also wanting to work on your relationship with money, can I recommend a course for you and your boo? Join my 22 Days and Wealthy Online Experience. It's only 22 Days so it's perfect to try out this online course thing with your significant other. Double win!
Step #5: Plan out every detail of your week
Believe it or not, my fiancé and I plan out the details of our week. Or more so, I do, and he just agrees with me. And that's because he's not the planner in the relationship. I am. But have you ever heard of the quote: "Success always comes when preparation meets opportunity?"
Exactly why we plan everything. We plan what we will be eating for the entire week Sunday mornings. If it's a heavy week for the both of us, we do more take out days. But that way we can also buy our groceries and we don't have to stress about what to eat.
Also -- I cook (and he plays su-chef) to make sure that we have lunch the next days. So that means if we are having Kale and Cauliflower soup on Monday evening, we will have that for lunch Tuesday.
So there's a very fluid system going on here. Systems are everythaaang. We also plan out when we will be checking in with our wedding planner which is everyday right after lunch; 12:30pm. That way, any tasks or approvals she needs from us, we are on top of it and we have a routine going.
And finally we also put into our calendars when we are taking courses together so we are both fully aware that this is a commitment and a non-negotiable.
Actually I lied, and let me clarify: I am the one that uses my calendar. My fiance does not use a calendar ( I still don't get how he makes the amount of money he does without one) But whatever, to each it's own. So instead of a calendar, he writes it on a piece of paper and tapes it to the wall in his office. WHATEVER. that slightly annoys me because it's so ugly but it works for him and he still shows up everyday for wedding planning and course taking and obviously for dinner. So there you have it..... 5 steps to work life balance with your partner, significant other, boo thang. I hope this blog post truly helped you in some way, shape or form. If you were to take anything from it. Remember: work, life balance is totally, 100% possible even if your partner is the complete opposite of you.
Here are all my suggestions that I mentioned above:
Book a reading with me to find out how you and your partner are energetically designed to thrive in 2021 CLICK HERE
22 Days and Wealthy Online Experience (aka my 22 day course) And if you have the time and want to vent to me about your significant other (just kiddinggg...)
Say hi to me on Instagram Stories: @kristennoelle.co
Subscribe to my YouTube channel HERE for more tips!
Grab my bestselling book Stop Chasing Start Attracting for FREE (just pay for S&H)