top of page

Why I Stopped Measuring My Goals And How My Happiness And Wealth Exploded As A Result

Updated: Feb 23, 2021

First of all, Happy, freakin' New Year. 2020 is officially behind us and we can look forward to 2021 the Year of the Ox, baby.

You know what it's like during this time of the year; gyms suddenly have an astronomical amount of new members seemingly overnight, peak performance planners are flying off the shelves of Barnes and Noble, and people are turning into Tony Robbins and setting goals like they've never had before...

...Including my fiancé who told me two days ago that his goal for 2021 is too read a book a week... Ok babe. We'll see about that. 😏

Four months ago, (sometime in Sept 2020) I hit a serious roadblock, and it led me down this path of RE self-discovery in which I discovered that solely measuring my goals with numbers was not only sending me back into karmic loops, but it actually stunted my ability to create and be in flow.

Here are some examples of one measuring their goals:

  • "I'm going to lose 20 pounds in 2 months"

  • "I'm going to make an extra $5000 a month by the end of 2021"

  • "I'm going to hit 1000 subscribers on YouTube by the end of the year"

The measuring comes from being specific about the NUMBER and allowing that to be your North Star rather than WHY you're really doing something in the first place aka your Core Values. (we'll dive deeper into this later)

Here's a personal example of wtf happened to me:

September 2020, it was during one of our team meetings and I was like, "We need to hit 1000 subscribers by the end of the year on Youtube, how are we going to do that?" We came up with a myriad of action steps including flushing an entire content strategy and calendar to schmooze up the Youtube algorithm. Basically to keep it simple, what marketers like to do is become BFFs with the algorithm so they do anything they can, to continue chasing something that's always moving. Even at the expense of selling their soul to the social media algorithm...

That's also why you see people 'buying' followers and likes. Full disclosure, I did that four years ago and this is something I still regret and wish I never done. #youngkristenmistakes (It took me an entire year to fully rid my account of robots from Russia. Thanks but no thanks)

Sometime in late September/early October (to be honest I don't remember the exact timeframe, i just know it freakin' happened) I started having anxiety right before I went to bed and the next morning, I'd procrastinate on waking up until 9am (something I never do cause the real me wakes up at 6am) and that's when I knew something was wrong.

And after sitting in my home office staring at the mountain before me, for gad knows how long, it dawned upon me, that I forgot WHY I was creating content and hitting goals to begin with. Aka, I had no real intention and I was solely chasing numbers in order to "appear successful" and then I thought to myself, well shit, if that's the energy I'm putting into my work, I'm sure people can feel that. "What am I doing? Kristen, wtf are you doing!?"

So I started going down a rabbit hole and noticed that there were a lot of people out there who are successful but aren't even happy!! Like wtf!?

And it set me on this path of seeing if it was truly possible to make a lot of money AND be fulfilled AND happy and it led me here:

Introducing.... Core Values Embodiment.

Yearrrss ago, when I first got my coaching certification, I learned about the necessity of Core Values on building heart-centered businesses. Truthfully, at the time, I breezed through this section of the program, and headed straight to marketing because I didn't think core values would make a difference really. If you were to compare my train of thought back then, to building a house, I basically skipped the foundations and started the interior design like nobody's business. #guiltyascharged

It is of utmost importance to know and embody your core values.

Here's why:

When your goals stem from your core values, you'll no longer be chasing numbers or be living from anxiety hiding behind a mask you show to the world. Your decision making, behaviors, and action steps will be coming from a place of authenticity. Making money will no longer be out of vain and your creativity will just explode because there's basically nothing blocking you anymore. (Except occasional slip-ups which we all have, cause if you don't, you ain't human) And as a result, just like the North Pacific current, everything in life that you desire, will just flow effortlessly, and opportunities will magically present itself to you, without you having too chase after them. All you have to do is open your arms to receive.

Sounds like fairy god mother bullshit? I wouldn't be feeding you no fairy god mother bullshit on the 1st day of 2021, if I hadn't experienced it myself.

**Disclaimer: It is so dang important that you do the work and come up with YOUR OWN unique core values. Simply finding a carbon copy list off Pinterest may be a band-aid solution at the moment, but in the long run, you'll come across the same issue you started with**

Step One: Recount Monumental and Suppressed Events

Think of both a monumental and suppressed time of your life and write down the following: What was happening to you? What was going on?

What feelings and values were you honoring/dishonoring in that moment to give you that positive or negative experience?

Journal all that shit down. Highlight or circle any keywords that stand out to you.

Step Two: Pull Up The Superhero That's Secretly You

We all have a guru, mentor, TV character, celebrity icon that we admire. Have you thought about why it is you put this person on a pedestal? This person is secretly you! They are just a mirror and you see yourself in them.

Pull up an image of them off of Google or something and write down all of the qualities and values you admire about them. What's important in their life? What values do they honor?

Step Three: Groupies Unite

Now that you are staring at your brain dumped list, (I actually teach you how to organize it much better here.) you want to group everything together under centralized themes. So think about going to Disneyland and how there are different themes to the park. And then afterwards you want to choose a value that encompasses the entire group. Think camp group leader.

Here's a visual example:

Step Four: Less Is More

The last step is to narrow down your list of values to 3-5. Ideally, I like to have 4 core values so I can really embody that throughout the year. To help you narrow down your list, ask yourself these questions:

What values are essential to your life/business/relationship?

What values represent your primary way of being at your best self?

What values elevate you to your highest self?

Finally, you'll want to create a value statement that goes with each core value to elicit the right emotions and feelings. (Hello, the secret to elevating your vibration is working on how you feel)

Step Five: Place It Somewhere You Can See Daily (Optional)

After you finish the above steps (please don't skip it!) you can then create /design your core values and make it into your phone or desktop wallpaper. (see below) That way you can see it everyday and be reminded of your core values and when you catch yourself living OUT of your core values, you can hit yourself on the head with your phone. (just kidding, that isn't necessary)

I posted the below image on my Instagram stories a month ago and you guys loved it!

A few of you asked me to share the file with you but I also mentioned that it is important not to copy my core values but to come up with your own that resonates with you on a deep level. Remember we are all uniquely different ;)

So... in a nutshell, here's what to expect from me personally in the year 2021 as I'll be deriving all my goals from my core values moving forward:

Look forward to seeing me create spaces that is centered around community in which you'll also see me and you equally thrive in.

Not only will I be bathing myself in more self-care, luxury, and facets that remind me of wealth, I'll be on a mission to flushing out what inner-wealth truly means to me and my community.

Balance is crucial for me to play out my Projector energy; so I'll be setting more boundaries and being mindful of how I utilize my energy throughout the day.

And finally, I'm committed to my word and also knowing when enough is enough and saying more no's when something is out of my integrity and core values. I'm committed to the mystery and the present moment, yo.

So there you have it sugar spice, a step-by-step approach to discovering your own unique core values. If you liked this blog post, send me a message on Instagram and lemme know so I know to write more in 2021. And if you can do ya girl a solid, and share this article with your friends so we can all be one big happy community that would be great.

Thankssssss!! Happy New Year, rockstar. ⭐️

Air hugs,



bottom of page